The art of complaining is not inherently bad all by itself. Though when your complains become a chronic pattern, you will find yourself quickly locked into the cycle of negative inertia, where complaining turns to blaming, and blaming zaps your personal power - your ability to control your destiny. When you lose control over that ability, life becomes one big complaint after another, and that's no way to live your life!
Are you a complainer, or do you know someone that is? If you answered, yes, you deserve a pat in the back – a reward for being honest with yourself.
If you answered "no", ask yourself again and again until you finally change your mind. And if you can’t seem to convince yourself, let me help you get it straight ===> Of course you are a complainer! It's a trick question, because everyone is a complainer! It's our natural inclination to be upset when things do not go our way, and that naturally results in complaining. It's a simple truth, and not one to beat yourself up over. Though the reason you're here reading this article, is to understand that while some complaining is natural, it is still a negative way of fulfilling your needs, and when it becomes chronic, you're in trouble.
Here’s a little exercise to help me prove my point. Take a moment to think about how your day went yesterday. Think of everything that you did, the people whom you spokd with, the places you went to and the things you accomplished and didn'g.
How many times during the day, did you use statements like, “The weather is too hot/cold.”===> “Traffic sucks.”===> “The bus didn’t arrive on time”===> “Work was horrible" ===> “I can’t find any decent food I want to eat.” ===> "That guy was such a jerk"? Even if these kinds of statements didn't leave your lips, how many times did you think about life in these ways?
It's time to accept the truth, we are ALL complainers, and that includes YOU. Being a complainer is not a terrible treason. It's when you do it repeatedly and habitually – that you become a “chronic complainer” – and your life challenges become more difficult. Once your complaints go chronic, they turn into negative thought patterns that lead you to BLAME people, circustance and inanimate objects for your life challenges, and when you do that, you hand your personal power over to the people and uncontrollable events you are blaming.
Complaining is not a bad thing; but blaming is VERY negative. Blaming happens when you turn that complaining into an excusing, reasoning and avoiding, especially when your complaints become an excuse for NOT DOING or for not taking immediate action. It materializes when you become passive instead of being active. Being passive means becoming reactive to all that is happening around you. It means waiting for a stimulus to hit you before proactively doing something to prevent negative results from manifesting. So the daily course of your life would include three of more, if not all, of the following:
- the rain, as the reason you didn't go out for a walk, jog or cycle to improve your health.
- the traffic jam, the late arrival of the bus, or the crowded train station for being late to work
- Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites for eating up most of your working time
- A lack of time, for your poor eating habits choices and exercise routines
- Your friends for keeping you up all night on a work-night
And the list goes on.
This is what happens when your chronic complaining turns into blaming, you become a part of the game – the game called the
It's a game we all know a little to well, and it's a game of wusses, cowards and underachievers. We get suckered into this game in times of weakness, when we are vulnerable enough to give in to our circumstances, and to disempower ourselves because we believe we have no control. Complaining creates fertile lands for the thoght that we are not enough. That we aren't smart enough, skilled enough or lucky enough to live a good life. We begin to think that we aren't rich enough to have a decent education, or to start our own business.
It's your job to bring yourself out of states like that. People who think that they do not have the proper education and the needed skills for the job, end up refusing to even apply for the job, even if that job is his or her dream job and they are more qualified then they realize. They believe there are no truly "equal" opportunities, even though they are EVERYWHERE – because they blame their situation on the prover that "life ain't fair". And I'll tell you what, they're right. Life can be unfair. Though whether or not life is unfair or not, is subjective and depends on how you look at it. Your perspective, and the attitude that you have towards life, are the determining factors of whether you will make it in this world or not.
Yes, we do live in a world of inequalities but here’s another truth: Life is a choice, and unless you choose death, you have no choice but to choose to live. And since I know you choose Life, the next step is to decide:
"Since I'm choosing to live.... HOW will I live? Will I live happily? Or will I live in misery?"
Everything is a choice – from how you are going to source financing for your business (Are you going to ask money from your parents? Are you going to offer it to the public? Are you going to seek help from the bank? Or are your savings enough to initially run the business?) down to the color of your underwear (Is it going to be black, white, red, blue or pink?). Life is a choice full of choices. Get used to it ;)
And when you choose to live live happily, you put down the crown to the Blame Game, the Crown of Chronic Complaining.
Giving in to circumstances and finding an excuse which you deemed acceptable enough to rationalize and explain yourself, is what chronic complainers do. Owning up to your own mistakes, hestitations and ability to take immediate action, is what successful and happy people do.
They don't give up making that decision to take care of themselves, which means they get to keep and accumulate their personal power, because they don't lose control over the outcome of the situation. You become powerless and weak when you start losing your personal power, leaving you no emotional space to enjoy that Blame Game Crown, and that's no way to live.
The world is not black and white, it's full and beautiful techni-color. It is your decision that shape your destiny, not some invisible higher power. Yes, I too believe there are metaphysical forces at play as well, but for whatever reason, we've been given the gift of free will. That IS the Power. It's the ability to choose to give up, to choose to do it again until you get it right. The journey of life has no dead-ends, only detours and destinations, one after another. Remember this as you journey out of this article and back into your life, as a completely different person than you were when you started reading. =)
This fantastic article is brought to you by Strategy Life Coaching